047 Rogin's Election Guide to California

It's Election Day Eve and both sides are likening tomorrow's results as the harbinger of Armageddon, but that's soooo dramatic! Come on, you really think everything's going to change? Do you think the President has that much power? When was the last time a President delivered what the candidate version himself said just a year earlier? There's a lot of pillow talk that happens before someone's elected, but afterward, it's business as usual. Too bad that business is war. 

Marijuana legalization is on the the ballot in California and eight other states. Let's make the union green! The War on Drugs is a racist and authoritarian criminalization of black nationalists and anti-war protestors in the 70s.  We have a chance to make some real money in California and stop letting Colorado make us look bad. I mean Colorado is great, I love it, I love the people, the mountains, I really do, but it's the Khloe to our Kim. Let's be real. We can't keep sitting on the sidelines letting Khloe get all the press and all the cheddar! There is the off chance that the economy could crash because high people would be less susceptible to advertising, but we mustn't let the best become the enemy of tho good.

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046 They Did Glenn Like Bruce Lee

Podcasts are crucial to the economic backbone of this country. If you took them away, productivity would plummet and you'd have to reintroduce whipping to get the numbers back in the black. I would say that the above is non sequitur but it's the first thing I said, so how can it be?

Glenn finally died after waiting seven months in between seasons of The Walking Dead. A lot of Asian guys are saying that they'll stop watching the show now that he's dead and to them I say, good riddance. Those guys would probably be the first to die in any apocalyptic scenario- zombie, robot, even weed. That's right during a weed apocalypse they'd be the first ones to ever die from marijuana, fucking up the numbers for the rest of us. You'd have to reintroduce whipping to get the numbers back in the black. OH MY GAD THAT'S A CALLBACK SON!!!

Anyway, we are all one. Enough with the stupid tribal shit. There isn't a lot of time, we need to adapt or die.