Happy *INSERT ATROCITY HERE*!!!

Saying," Happy Columbus Day!" feels weird. Even if you change it to Happy Indigenous People's Day, it still feels strange because no matter what words you use, it's just basically saying, "Happy Genocide!" I'm not sure if that's going to fly with public. Kind of a downer.

People just want an excuse to be happy, they don't want their parades rained on by the pesky annoyance of truth. What good would it do anyone to acknowledge that Christopher Columbus finagling the Spanish Crown to bankroll his batshit crazy idea of sailing off the edge of the Known World to hit up China and India through the back door, and then subsequently launching the Age of Exploration and European Colonization, and specifically, the rise of the Spanish Empire through the efforts of thousands of conquistador-led expeditions into the heart of the Americas is what led to where we are right this very moment. If you've ever been to Western Europe and seen the majesty of the architecture and art of the colonial era, it's clear that they jacked the shit out those poor fuckers across the pond. 

Do you think there were any nice conquistadors? Out of all the guys who sailed over here and survived the journey, and then had to pillage their way through the jungle, subjugate natives, and then torture them into telling you where the fabled City of Gold was, at least one of them had to have been a nice dude, right? Do you have to be a murderous psychopath to be a conquistador? Is it like working on Wall Street? Or can their be some spark of decency inside of you, while still delivering the rape and plunder needed to extract a colony of its natural resources so that lords and ladies back home can buy more of those cool beaver hats?