The largest mass murder in US History with a firearm took place on June 11, 2016 in Orlando, FL at The Pulse nightclub by a man who was reported to be a closeted homosexual Muslim extremist. It was as if America was looking to out-America itself and just went all out. Homophobia, Islamophobia, and ammophobia reared their ugly heads and vomited their eye-roll inducing points to social media for the umpteenth time.
We get it. You don’t like Muslims, or gays, or guns, or maybe you do! Maybe you love Islam, homos, and bangsticks and you want everybody to know. Everybody must know how many thoughts and prayers you have, everyone must know how this affected you, how you were right and they were wrong, those idiot sons of bitches. That’s what’s important, right? Not the 100+ people killed or injured, not the fact that any one of us could be affected by a mass shooting at any time since that seems to be included in the list of inalienable rights that we are willing to shoot the shit out of anyone for.
Obama gave his eighteenth speech following a mass shooting. Eight years and eighteen mass shootings. That’s way more than Congress got done in the past eight years. I believe that there are some laws of some sort that the legislative body of our country could enact that could do something about the shitload of guns and crazy people out there. It’s the same old song, the President is all, “This shit again, guys? You gonna pass any laws?” Meanwhile Congress is either composed of deafening silence or double deafening platitudes devoid of anything but thoughts and prayers. I suppose it is quite generous to offer both thoughts and prayers, implying they can somehow do one but not the other at the same time.So are we going to pass any laws? Doesn’t look like it.
As soon as a mass killing happens, there is inevitably a bunch of assholes who say that the violence never happened and was staged. 9/11, the Boston Bombing, the shooting in Paris, Newtown, you name it, there are a bunch of people dedicated to claiming the violence was staged as a psy-op by the “government” to take away our guns. That’s what tons of people believe, that events involving mass murder with guns are manufactured so that Obama can take our guns. Well, he’s had eighteen opportunities to take the guns and guess what? It ain’t happening you paranoid dicks. If anything, more guns are bought after a mass shooting.
Mass shootings seem to be the best possible marketing for guns, well, maybe second to the threat of having them taken away. The genius really lies in capitalizing on the push-pull of our horror of mass death and the fear of losing our right to bear arms. There’s probably a chart that gun brokers watch that measures the national horror over a massacre with their desire to buy a gun before they get banned. They watch that chart and at the perfect moment when the two trend lines cross- that’s when guns go on sale, and everything must go!
Along with the gun buying frenzy that follows tragedy in this country are people on the other side that call for the repeal of the 2nd amendment. I guess if you are impatient for kickstarting the next civil war in the US, then by all means, good luck! Repealing the 2nd Amendment will face the same difficulties as rescinding the drug war. What are we going to do with all the guns or prisoners that we already have out there? If guns ownership was made illegal, then you would undoubtedly have an enormous black market for guns. Prohibition breeds crime and as long as some people have guns, everybody else will want them.
What about Australia people ask? Australia had one mass murder and then they had a comprehensive firearms ban, which resulted in zero mass shootings since. Well, it’s easy to ban guns in a place where they use boomerangs. They always come back, so there’s no ammo cost, plus Australians regularly wrestle drop bears and get high on animal venom, we can hardly use them as a role model. If the Crocodile Hunter was a real hunter with a rifle, he would have been nowhere near that stingray. He would have blasted that thing to smithereens from 80 yards with a .30-06, and the he’d call it a day, or a g’day, as they say in the antipodes.
Amendment Uno and Amendment Dos. We can’t get over these two. America is obsessed with number one and two, we can’t get over it. Quick, what’s the Third Amendment? Don’t look it up, what is it? I don’t even know? Does anyone care? It’s probably important, but really, I know the First, Second, Fourth (Privacy and Unresonable Search and Seizure), the Fifth (protection against self-incrimination and double jeopardy), the Tenth (state’s rights), Thirteen through Fifteen (outlawing slavery, citizenship for the natural born, and universal male suffrage), the Eighteenth (alcohol prohibition), the Nineteenth (women’s suffrage), the Twenty-first (repeal of Prohibition) and uh... that’s it. And I’m a huge nerd! We are obsessed with our freedom of expression and our right to own weapons that hurl lead projectiles at supersonic velocity. That is our goddamn jam and it’s too bad we can’t just let our freak flags fly without blasting each other to pieces.
The guy who shot up The Pulse in Orlando was reportedly angry after seeing two guys kiss. So naturally, he decided to kill over 50 people with an AR-15. How gay was that dude? He’d rather pile bodies on the floor that taste that sweet cock. His wires were all crossed and instead of going all in on Uno and letting everyone know that he wanted a dick to save his life, he doubled down on Dos and found himself getting laughed out of Valhalla. Fuck that guy.
So what’s next? Same as it ever was? Will either Clinton or Trump lead the charge on reducing gun violence, helping the mentally ill, and getting some legislation passed? Neither candidate wants to lose that sweet Amendment Dos vote, and it’s more than probable that their campaign managers are looking at the numbers and telling them to pivot to another issue because that’s what America’s really all about.